Guava is getting crushed, again

As I was walking back to college the other day, returning from my final exam paper, I felt as free as a bird. I felt as if a big weight that I had never realised was there had been lifted off my chest. It was as if it had accumulated so insidiously that you I just never did realise it was there all along. And the sense of being free was liberating. However, the joy that I expected that I would feel didn't arrive. Instead, I sort of felt a bit sad.

Without exams to keep my mind occupied, it now wandered to other thoughts. Thoughts that I think were there all along, close to the surface, ready to emerge, had I but spared a moment to actually consider and ponder their meaning and implications. The fact that a lot of us will not actually meet up again on a daily basis saddens me.

Semester 5 has officially ended. That means two and a half years since I first came to Melbourne. Seems like a long time, but consider the fact that we still have three and a half years left. One year of AMS research followed by another two and a half years of clinicals. For the AMS research year, most people are doing different units, and some are going overseas to do theirs as well. For the clinical years, we are divided into a few different clinical schools. The final opportunity to actually get together as a whole group of medical students will come and go this Monday, when we have our third year farewell dinner.

I suppose that's what human nature is all about. We always want what we do not have, and when we do get it, we want even more and fail to appreciate what we have already got. I'm sure not many of us actually enjoyed going to lectures every day. I'm definitely not one of the people who enjoys lectures, however, I actually appreciated them for the opportunity for us to get together as a group, which gives us a sense of community, a sense of togetherness, even if I do not actually know a lot of my coursemates. Now that we don't have anymore lectures as a group, I wonder how many people will actually miss the lectures for the simple fact that we won't have any opportunity to get together anymore. Or am I just one of the minority?